Rollercoaster of Parenthood

It has been almost a month since we finally got to Abigail and added her to our forever family.  Many of you have been eagerly awaiting a blog post, and I apologize that it has taken so long to write.  I guess the muse finally hit me.  It is late, and it has been a hard day.  Hard on our little one who is trying to figure out how to make it in a whole new culture.  Please pray for Abigail, that she will process through her emotions in a healthy manner.

We got home from Bulgaria on August 30th.  I had to return to work on September 4th, with some days off for Abigail's doctor appointments.  Tony returns to work next Monday.  My dad (grandpa Ken) was in town for the first week in September and Abigail enjoyed getting to know him too.  Abigail also got to meet Grandma Patty (Tony's mom) over the past few weeks and hang out at Grandma's condo.  Tony said Abigail poked her head into every nook and cranny at Grandma's.  A curious child indeed!

Abigail started school yesterday.  We had hoped to enroll her in a private school near our house, but that did not turn out.  So Abigail is attending a special public school for kids learning English.  There are kids there from many nationalities.  Abigail is having a hard time dealing with this multi-cultural setting.  Yesterday, she said she wanted to go to school with the American kids instead.  We have been trying to educate her on the fact that all these kids, including herself, ARE American kids.  We are also teaching about respecting all cultures and peoples.  Today she told us she wanted to go back to Bulgaria to go to school with just Bulgarian kids.

She says she is not sleeping well, and that is why she wakes up grumpy.  We are trying to resolve this with various approaches, but it makes for rough mornings, sluggish afternoons, and exhausting evenings.  Please pray for all our strength.  Our 13 year old sweet princess is going through a roller-coaster of emotions, multiple changes, and is sleep-deprived apparently (from what she told us tonight).  And to be honest, we are exhausted too.  We love her so much, but we can't do anything to make the transition any smoother. She must go to school, she must learn to obey parents, and learn to go to sleep at bedtime so she will be alert and awake in the morning, and we aren't going to stop loving her and send her back no matter how much she wants to go back to the way things were.  She is getting time for 8 hours of sleep (same as we know the schedule was in Bulgaria for the school year), but she said she got to sleep more during summer vacation.  So part of this we know is any kid's struggle to get back into the school routine.

One hard part about adoption (whether domestic or international), is finding the right balance to respecting a child's past, while at the same time helping them move forward to a brighter future.

But all is not a struggle, there are joyous parenting moments too.  Like how funny it is that Abigail goes to check the mail every day when she gets home from school (even though Tony has picked up the mail earlier).  Tony has started leaving the junk mail in the box for her to bring in.  If anyone of our friends would like to send her mail (fun cards and the like), just e-mail me for the address if you don't have it.  I think it would be fun for her to get mail addressed to her.

Please pray for me at work that I will catch up swiftly on my workload.  I have a lot on my plate right now, but Abigail needs a mom to be home fixing dinner for her (not coming home late after Tony and Abigail have eaten).  We are trying to sort out the schedules so we have as much family time as possible (as all families struggle with I know).

Please pray for Tony's endurance as he drives the half-hour trip to take Abigail to school and pick her up every day.  He needs a supernatural measure of rest this evening.  He is an amazing husband and father.  His love for his family is so evident to me, and humbles me truly, and makes me want to be a better spouse and parent.

Well, I didn't mean to make this post too serious, but it is late, and I am completely worn out.  I guess the funnier stuff may come when I am more awake.  Thanks for all your prayers and interest in how things are going.